CFFL "Baby Jinx" blamed for JuCo woes

(Portland, ME) In seasons past, expectant deans and dean-to-dad transitions proved distracting to both draft and coaching strategies, cratering the CFFL title dreams of the Big Green, Mallrats, Cowboys, and Ales. Turns out that the 2008 JuCo Express were not immune to the now infamous CFFL "baby jinx".

With a Smith baby due in late May '09, Dean Smith found the scapegoat he's desperately sought for the 2008 JuCo Express campaign. While a suspect draft, untimely injuries, and lousy coaching were part of the problem, it seems that even for the storied JuCo Express, the CFFL baby jinx cannot be avoided.

"When I found out about the baby I was obviously elated and ran a few names by Peg (Demarrio? Adewale? Tinker...What do you mean, "no?"), but after further reflection I knew the '08 JuCo was in trouble," stated Dean Smith at his post-regular season press conference. "Initially I was concerned about my backfield situation and suspect wide receiver play, but in the end there's one universal truth: There's no beating the baby jinx."

When asked about his teams chances in 2009, Dean Smith shrugged, "I guess it depends: is "baby" an exogenous variable to the Juco quotient or not?"

Mrs. JuCo, in great health after waving buhbye to the baby's first trimester, caputured the audience reaction to Dean Smith's statement perfectly when she sighed, "Always looking for an edge that Dean Smith, even as a father-to-be."